Interviews with the Upper Trifecta
by Sh4d0wyS3cr3ts
Summary: The head researcher of the Trifecta is assigned with the task of interviewing the other higher-ups.
1. Interview 1: Sir Rodrick

Obsidiano, one of the very few residents of the Trifecta granted the honor of being one of the Attendants of the Crusty Old Man, as well as the head researcher of the entire Trifecta, has been granted the task of interviewing the higher-ups on the Trifecta's Sovereign Tier List. He is to interview all six D'omnieers, all three Ones Above All Except Crusty Old Man, and finally the other three Attendants of the Crusty Old Man. The results of these interviews will be published to the general public, and are intended to help lower the amount of intimidating authority the higher-ups have by making the regular residents of the Trifecta see that they are just other people like them, despite their higher positions on the Sovereign Tier List. Obsidiano has constructed a list of several questions to ask each person, and he heads off to the first Singularity of the first Duality to begin the process. Obsidiano sits down with a man with pure white skin, who is casually leaning back in his chair.

"Hello there, Sir Rodrick. As you know, I am here to ask you a few questions as part of a series of interviews with the higher-ups in the Trifecta."

"Yeah."

"So...how did you become the D'omnieer of Singularity 1? That's quite the position to have, seeing how it is the most powerful of the Singularities."

"Well, uh, funny you ask that. So like, I'm a real deep sleeper, y'know? I could sleep through ANYTHING. Well, one day, I went to sleep, and when I woke up I was here, and there was a note saying I'd been put as the D'omnieer of Singularity 1. I didn't say no, obviously, because y'know it's a free place to live and I don't have to do anything since Shin pretty much doesn't let anyone but himself monitor the Duality."

"Alright, and you just kind of answered this one, but what exactly do you do as D'omnieer?"

"Well, like you said, I just answered it. I don't do anything. I just sit around and chill all day. Plop down on the couch with a couple of lemons and just snack on 'em while I watch whatever Realm seems interesting on the TV. Lately I been watching the Touristic Realm a lot, which you'd think would get old after seeing it enough, but it's honestly real enjoyable. There's an especially good tour guide there, probably the best in the Trifecta, he never fails to keep things interesting."

"Alri-wait, hang on. Did you just say you snack on lemons? Like, just, raw lemons?"

"Uh, yeah. Don't peel them either because there's no point putting forth that much effort when I can just eat the peel anyways."

"Okay, then. Last question here. I was told that you...um...make music? Is this true?"

"Oh, hell yeah!" Sir Rodrick suddenly pulls out an electric guitar from a shelf and begins playing some kind of chaotic song that seems to have no actual rhythm to it.

"Ah, yes, it sounds...fantastic. Okay, it was nice talking to you, but I have to keep things moving in a timely manner, so I'll be on my way, now." Obsidiano says, cutting off Sir Rodrick's music, before walking out.


	2. Interview 2: Preacher Gradaundera

Obsidiano heads over to Singularity 2, where he is greeted by a man with an abnormally large protruding chin.

"Hello, Preacher Gradaundera. As you know, I am here to ask you a few simple questions."

"Get on with it then, ya cheeky bastud."

"Alright, no need to be hasty. So, why were you granted the position of D'omnieer?"

"Because I'm perfect, obviously. In all reality, I got into a brawl at the pub, and the bastud I was up against punched me so hard I was put into this position."

"That's...odd, but I suppose I've definitely heard stranger. And what do you do as a D'omnieer?"

"Well, pretty standard stuff, honestly. Look at the Heart every now and again, and make sure nothing slips past Shin unnoticed. Honestly, it's a pretty entry-level job, which I s'pose makes sense seein' how I got here."

"Alright, that makes sense I guess. Now, last question, and just know that I'm not the one who wrote this, but why exactly IS your chin so big?"

"You fuckin' wot, mate? There's nothin' wrong with me chin, this is just how I always been. In fact, that's what I got into the brawl at the pub over. What a stupid question."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, it was nice talking to you, but I have to keep things going, so I'll be on my way, now." Obsidiano nods at Preacher Gradaundera before leaving, shaking his head and sighing on the way out.


	3. Interview 3: Drawsome Drawer

As Obsidiano enters the second Duality, he feels a lot less tense, since he knows that the entire time he was in Duality 1, Shin was most certainly watching him. Obsidiano honestly thinks Shin tries way too hard, and is probably trying to compensate for or hide something, but he can't think of what it could possibly be. Obsidiano steps up to a table in Singularity 3, where a laid back guy in a beanie is sitting, rolling a skateboard back and forth with one of his feet.

"Hey there, Drawsome Drawer. As you know, I'm here to ask you just a few questions. Let's get right to it. Why were you given the position of D'omnieer?"

"Oh, I'm glad you asked. A while ago, I was skating down the street, and I saw a poster stating that Citrun was looking for someone to be in charge of the Singularity. Well, while I was looking at it, some asshat drove over my skateboard and broke it, and I chased them for like three miles but couldn't catch up to them. I got their license plate, though, so I went to the police to try to track him down, but they told me breaking a skateboard wasn't a crime worth their time. And I said, 'oh, really, well you sure look like you have plenty of spare time to me', and then he said-"

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but how exactly does this relate to you becoming a D'omnieer?"

"Oh right, yeah. So, like, I saw that poster, and since I'd met Citrun a while ago, I was like, hey, why not? And when I went there, he said I was literally the only person to show up, and as such got the position by default. So, yeah."

"Well, I guess that at least makes more sense than just ending up there. So, what do you do as the D'omnieer of Singularity 3? I never really hear about this Singularity, so I'm legitimately curious as to what goes on here."

"Oh, of course, of course. So like, Citrun always goes off on his vacations, so he put me in charge of looking over the Eye whenever he isn't there. Of course, I also look at the Heart of Singularity 3 every once in a while, and when I'm not doing anything else, I'll skate around trying to find that asshole who broke my skateboard, because I KNOW they're out there somewhere, and I still haven't had a skateboard as good as that one, so like, it's really a big deal to me, and since the police wouldn't help, I just gotta take matters into my own hands."

"Ok, ok, I can tell you REALLY care about that. Well, I just have one more question, and then I'll leave you be. Is it true that you've performed the legendary dectuple kickflip?"

"Are you kidding me? I can do it right now, just watch!" Drawsome stands up and attempts to do a kickflip, but the skateboard goes flying narrowly past Obsidiano's head. "Whoops, sorry, guess I was a little worked up. Uh, yeah, I'll be fine."

"OKAY, then. Yeah. I'll be going." Obsidiano heads off, clearly shaken by that near-death experience.


	4. Interview 4: OP Juan Shinobi

Obsidiano next heads to Singularity 4, where he meets up with a Mexican man dressed up as a ninja, who scrambles around on the walls for a while before finally jumping down to talk with Obsidiano.

"O.P. Juan Shinobi, is it? A bit of an odd name, but that's not why I'm here. I'm here to ask you a few questions as part of a series of interviews, as I'm sure you have already been informed."

"Hoho! O.P. Juan Shinobi, does it best!"

"I'll take your word for it. So, why were you chosen to be the D'omnieer of Singularity 4? I've heard this Singularity is a big deal, but I'm not exactly sure why."

"Well, one day I was out on my third morning jog when suddenly I realized I left the bath running! As it would turn out, this was actually a test Citrun had set up to see if I would be able to realize what I had done and turn the bath off before it was too late. And of course, I PASSED! And as such, I have become far wiser, and more powerful, than ever before!"

"Honestly I'm starting to feel like becoming a D'omnieer isn't nearly as difficult as it probably should be. Anyways, moving on, what do you do as the D'omnieer of Singularity 4?"

"Well, I check on the Heart every once in a while, but I spend the rest of my time training my ninja skills. Hiya! Hoo! Ha!" O.P. Juan Shinobi does various crude karate motions as he makes these noises.

"Fantastic. As my last question, do you have any advice that you can give? I heard you majored in philosophy in college."

"Ah, yes. One who sees with his eyes, sees only what is before them, and nothing else. However, though I have shown you the path, your legs are your own, so it is up to you to interpret whatever advice I may give."

"Thank you. I'll be going, now. This has been one of the better interviews thus far."


	5. Interview 5: Domasu Owari

Obsidiano heads out from Duality 2 into the first Singularity of Duality 3. He has to actually go to the Chamber of this Singularity's Heart to do this interview, since the D'omnieer refuses to leave the Chamber for anything save the most dire emergencies. When Obsidiano arrives, the person waiting there bows deeply as a greeting.

"Hello, Domasu. I'm here to ask you a few questions. Don't worry, I won't waste too much of your time."

"Of course, Obsidiano-sama."

"You...don't need to call me that, but okay. So, why were you chosen to be the D'omnieer of Singularity 5?"

"I was actually recommended to Ozensama-sama by my mentor and fellow D'omnieer, Goawaysu-sama. After doing some background checks, Ozensama-sama decided I was worthy of the position, and I've been doing my best not to disappoint him."

"Wow, you're seemingly the first person to have actually earned the position legitimately. Congratulations. Anyways, what do you do as D'omnieer?"

"Well, I keep a constant watch over this Heart and the Veins connected to it. I would never dare leave this Chamber without permission. After all, this is a very important job, and the very life of this Singularity depends on me."

"I suppose that makes sense. You certainly are dedicated to the job. Final question: What exactly would you define as a matter important enough that you would take a break from supervising the Heart to investigate?"

"Oh, that's a difficult question, Obsidiano-sama. It would definitely require there to be several very large threats in one place, but even then, I would probably choose to watch from afar. Again, the life of this Singularity, and perhaps even the Trifecta as a whole, could very well be dependent on my actions." As Domasu says this, the faintest of smirks appears on his face for a split second, though Obsidiano doesn't take note of it.

"Alright. Well, I'll let you go back to work now, because I have to be on my way."


	6. Interview 6: Goawaysu

Obsidiano continues to Singularity 6 to conduct the final D'omnieer interview. When he arrives at the meeting place, he sees the grumpy D'omnieer sneer at him and set down his tea as Obsidiano approaches.

"Hello, Goawaysu. I know you aren't in a great mood, and never are, but this won't take very long."

"Just get on with it."

"Okay. Why were you chosen to be a D'omnieer?"

"For whatever reason, my personality appealed to Ozensama as the kind he was looking for when he began his search for D'omnieers. That's all you need to know. Next question."

"What do you do as the D'omnieer of Singularity 6?"

"Sit around and get annoyed whenever anything forces me to pay attention to it. For example, having to participate in some idiotic interview just because all the other D'omnieers agreed to do it."

"And my last question: Why ARE you always in such a bad mood?"

"Because I just want people to GO AWAY!"

"Okay." Obsidiano obliges, and leaves Goawaysu alone, glad to have gotten that interview done quickly.


	7. Interview 7: Shin

Obsidiano loops back around to Duality 1 in order to do an interview he really isn't looking forward to, since he knows Shin, the One in charge of Duality 1, will probably answer everything in the vaguest way possible. As Obsidiano arrives, Shin is already sitting there, his presence enough to light up the entire room.

"Hello, Shin. Please try to actually answer these questions in a reasonable manner."

"No promises. This is my Duality, my rules, you hear?"

"I figured you'd say that. So, Shin, you're known to be very strict, but nobody knows how you actually are as a person. Surely, there's more to your personality than just being an authority figure."

"Yes."

Obsidiano and Shin stare at each other, neither of them saying anything further until Obsidiano clears his throat and continues.

"Alright, not gonna try to dig any deeper with that one. I've heard that you take great pride in the state of your Duality. Is there any one thing that you're especially proud of?"

"There is not one particular thing, no, but seeing almost the entire Duality be in order makes me glad to know my influence has had as great of an effect as it has. Of course, there are outliers, namely the Touristic Realm, but I've essentially disowned that Realm, so I don't care about it. Nothing important ever happens there, anyways. If anything, it's a good way to prevent people from other Dualities from invading the rest of Duality 1."

"Has there ever been anything so important that you've had to step in yourself to intervene?"

"Not recently."

"...Are you going to elaborate?"

"No."

"I figured as much. Do you ever do ANYTHING in your free time other than watching over the Duality? Any hobbies or activities?"

"No. This position isn't about fun and games."

"I feel like Citrun would beg to differ."

"Yes, he probably would, but do I care? No. Is that your last question?"

"Yes, Shin, yes it is."

"Ok." Shin says, before leaving. Obsidiano shrugs and walks away, easing up a bit as he once again leaves Duality 1.


	8. Interview 8: Citrun

Obsidiano heads to Duality 2, where the One known as Citrun has taken a vacation from his vacationing in order to participate in the interview. As he sees Obsidiano approach, he sets down his luggage and takes a seat on a lawn chair.

"Hello, Citrun. I'm glad you were able to take time out of your busy schedule to participate in this."

"Yeah, it wasn't easy, but I managed to cram it in there between vacations."

"Okay. So, speaking of vacations, I've heard that you for some reason don't actually go to the Touristic Realm very often. Why is that?"

"Well, y'know. It's a pretty long drive to get there and it's always really crowded. I just haven't had the time to make that commitment since the last time I went, which was like, a couple hundred years ago. I actually do plan to return there in a few months, though. I'm gonna try to take a less busy road as a shortcut."

"Okay, then. What would you say is your favorite vacation spot?"

"Oh, man, that's a tough one. I honestly can't think of just one answer for that. There's so many great places in the Trifecta. It would be disrespectful to single out one over the others."

"I suppose that makes sense. So, this is a question I'm sure everybody wants to know. Does the Crusty Old Man actually approve of your habits?"

"Buddy. Pal. Friend. Are you seriously asking that. If you personally knew the Crusty Old Man, which you probably do without even realizing seeing how he chose his Attendants from a pool of people he'd met in the distant past, you would know he doesn't care what we do as long as we aren't actively hurting the Trifecta. If there were ever an actual emergency, I don't actually care that much about my vacations that I wouldn't show up to do something about it."

"Fair enough. Also, wait, what was that about me knowing the Crusty Old Man? It's not that I doubt you, but isn't that supposed to be confidential information?"

"No u."

"What?" Before Obsidiano can question any further, Citrun disappears, and Obsidiano decides that he'll just move on his way and consider that interview complete.


	9. Interview 9: Ozensama

Obsidiano heads onwards to Duality 3, and quickly meets up with Ozensama, the final One he has to interview before moving on to the Attendants.

"Alright, Ozensama. I've heard you aren't exactly the talkative type, but we just gotta get this over with and then I can return to the Upper Trifecta. So, uh, what exactly do you do? You seem to not have as much of a presence in your Duality as the other Ones."

"Well, that's just because nobody ever sees me. I'm watching over a few things as we're speaking right now."

"Right. Super speed. How could I forget. Speaking of which, do you actually move for the entire distance when you do that, or is it just like teleporting? Because it seems like you would run into walls and such along the way."

"It's complicated, and I'll refrain from going into detail for both of our sakes."

"Fair enough. Also, this isn't in my script, but I noticed you were seemingly the only One who actually had a logical process for selecting your D'omnieers. Is there a reason for this?"

"Well, Citrun has always been somewhat nonsensical, and Shin wouldn't want anybody in charge who would rival his authority."

"Okay then. I'll be going, now." Obsidiano heads back to the Upper Trifecta, glad to finally be done with all of that and actually move on to interviewing people who aren't basically strangers to him.


	10. Interview 10: Billy Maize

The moment Obsidiano arrives, numerous cameras and microphones suddenly appear around him, and a man in a blue shirt drops down in front of him.

"HI, BILLY MAIZE HERE!"

"Hi Billy, you ready for the interview?"

"I'M HERE TODAY WITH OBSIDIANO TO SHOW YOU A BRAND NEW TRIFECTA BRAND PRODUCT!"

"Billy, now isn't the time, we have to do this interview."

"WE ARE DOING THIS INTERVIEW! THAT'S THE PRODUCT! IT'S THIS NEW TABLE!" Billy Maize yells, pointing to the table between him and Obsidiano.

"...what exactly is special about that table?"

"WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE, IT HAS THE TRIFECTA BRAND LOGO ON IT! THAT'S THE ONLY DIFFERENCE!"

"Okay, Billy. Well, let's sit at this table and get a move on with this interview."

"SURE THING!"

"So, explain what it is you're in charge of as one of the Attendants of the Crusty Old Man."

"OF COURSE! I'M THE HEAD OF THE PUBLIC RELATIONS FOR THE TRIFECTA, AS WELL AS ADVERTISING NEW PRODUCTS WE MAKE! IN FACT, I'M THE ONE WHO HAD THE IDEA FOR THESE INTERVIEWS IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"Yes, you indeed are. Do you have any plans to visit any Realms anytime soon? I know you've done so several times in the past for special occasions."

"IN FACT, I AM! DON'T MISS IT, IN JUST TWO MONTHS TIME, I'LL BE VISITING WHICHEVER REALM SHOWS THE MOST SUPPORT AND HASN'T BEEN VISITED BY ME BEFORE!"

"Okay, and my last question, did you literally just write these questions in here so you could advertise things?"

"YES! OF COURSE I DID! AND DON'T FORGET TO SUPPORT OUR BRAND!" Billy Maize and the recording equipment vanish after this, and Obsidiano looks around to make sure he's actually gone before preparing for the next interview.


	11. Interview 11: Jim

Obsidiano heads towards the Palace of the Crusty Old Man, near which the next Attendant, a man named Jim, is waiting.

"Hello, Jim. Are you ready for the interview that we scheduled?"

"Oh yes!"

"Nice enthusiasm. So, why don't you say what you're in charge of as an Attendant?"

"Well as the Attendant in charge of being an actual assistant I do things your average assistant would do, things like scheduling meetings, getting food and drinks, etc. In fact, I'm one of the only people to know Crusty's Real name!"

"I suppose that would make sense. He must trust you a lot."

"Oh he does!"

"What would you say is the least average task he's given you?"

"Well once he had me check on your office, I have no idea why."

"...Interesting. That must have been while I was out, since I don't remember it."

"I mean he also had me check on Shav the same day."

"Well, I guess that I have no reason to dig any deeper. That should be enough for this interview."

"Alright, I need to get back to work anyway." Jim says, before sprinting back to the Palace.


	12. Interview 12: Shavreinra

Obsidiano heads away from the Palace and towards the final interview location, where Shavreinra is staring into space.

"Alright, last interview, finally. Hello, Shavreinra. Don't worry, I'll try to keep this quick."

"Oh, sorry, I was just looking at something else. I hear you have questions of some kind."

"Yeah. Pretty basic stuff, starting with a general statement of what you're in charge of as an Attendant."

"That would be Judicial stuff. It's not common that it's used, but when it is you know something fun is about to happen."

"I mean, I guess that's certainly one way to describe it. And since you're rarely actually participating in that, what do you do in your spare time otherwise?"

"Now those are secrets you don't need to know. Anyway, you ever think about cleaning up your Notes a bit more?"

"See you probably thought I was going to ask why you're reading those, but instead I'm just going to say that no, I don't think about that. It's not like anybody will be reading them very often besides me, anyways."

"You have any other questions?"

"Nah, not really. Honestly, I'm just glad to be done with this."

"Alright, I'm out." Shavreinra says, as she disappears through unknown means. Obsidiano takes a deep breath and crumples up his script, before throwing it in a nearby garbage can.


End file.
